A SEPTA Solution

Bob Martin has a novel idea for solving the deer herd problem in Pennsylvania.

Bus the deer, reap the bucks

Our deer overpopulation is among the worst in the
nation, yet our state game lands are barren while
bucks and does have turned suburbia into their own
salad bar.

Our approach to managing wildlife and natural
resources is Byzantine. In Pennsylvania, three
agencies get in on the act: the Game Commission
(mammals and birds), the Fish and Boat Commission, and
the Department of Conservation of Natural Resources
(forests).

You can say that again! Three agencies with so much overlap.

Things are so out of whack these days that hunters and
animal-rights activists actually agree on something:
that fewer deer – and more members of the Pennsylvania
Game Commission – should be shot.

His words, not mine.

Garden-variety solutions don’t work anymore, and not
just because gardens are being defoliated. It’s time
we become bold, visionary and innovative in crafting
new solutions. I have a plan.

Everybody has a plan. The question is what plan will work?

The Game Commission needs to borrow a page from its
sister agency. Before the fishing season opens each
spring, the Fish and Boat Commission fills the state’s
waterways with millions of trout. The Game Commission
should follow suit and fill its now-depleted game
lands with bucks and does from suburbia.

How do we do that? Enter the beleaguered SEPTA. It can
dispatch buses, stocked with salt licks and healthy
spreads of greens, to the burbs. When each bus is
filled with the ravenous hordes, it’s off to Elk
County. Call it forced busing to achieve eco-balance.

Okay, a little out-of-this-world.
But at least he is bringing this issue to the mainstream media.

This is a win for all of Pennsylvania. It has no
political downside. It’s so good, in fact, that I may
parlay it into a bid for office. My supporters – a
coalition of animal-rights activists and hunters –
would be unbeatable. The only problems might be the
ambiance at organizational meetings and the food we’d
serve at the victory party.
Posted on Wed, Feb. 09, 2005, Phillynews.com